Watching the passing clouds

I've heard mindfulness described as watching your thoughts as if they are clouds coming and going. Well today I was watching, but the clouds were hanging dark and low on this stay at home introvert.

This is what the (parenting) clouds looked like:

• What did I do in bringing up my son to make him so dependent on me for play?
• By answering all my 4 year old's questions I am using up my talking energy leaving very little to interact with my baby and communicate to guide him through what is happening during the day.
• I'm falling short at meeting their needs all day.
• They'd be better off with someone who enjoys being with kids all day.
• They'd be better off with an extrovert mum.
• If I turn the TV on that will be being kind to myself.
• If I turn the TV on I'll feel guilty about all the screen time.
• I'll turn the TV on.
• Try to remember how desperately you wanted these kids.
• Only 2 months until I get to go back to work.
• My brother has terminal brain cancer and won't get this experience - I should feel grateful.

So in keeping with this blog I ask myself... Is this the true me? Would I feel and think differently if I was getting 8 hours continuous sleep a night and going to yoga and volleyball weekly? Is going back to work the answer? What will it take to feel good about myself again?