Hire a handyman

Just by recognising that I tend to keep score has made me more aware of when I'm thinking that way and allowed me to adjust my attitude in the moment. I'm now more ready to accept that things can seem uneven in the short term but that in the end we'll both win. 

In The Happiness Project Rubin acknowledges that she feared her husband would leave all the work to her if she stopped nagging and complaining. Admittedly I share that fear and worry that if I give freely and don't moderate the effort that I put into doing household/family stuff then it won't leave enough 'me time' and my wellbeing will suffer. However, by the end of the 12 month project, her fear had not been realised and she came to the conclusion that she gained the most happiness by eliminating the bad feelings e.g. nagging. Keeping score is a bad feeling, one of resentment and 'not enough'. Already by giving when a task needs to be done and appreciating what my partner does I've begun to reduce those bad feelings and I haven't noticed any significant loss of 'me time'.

A friend asked me a few days ago what my New Years Resolution was and when I replied "to stop keeping score in my relationship" she laughed and said "Oh, I gave that up years ago!". She shared that for her it meant learning to live with some things that aren't done or that aren't done according to her timetable... and hiring a handyman. Brilliant!

I'd love to hear what you keep score on or how you've given it up.