What I wish for your birth

Here I am at 35 weeks pregnant and my birth plan for a planned C-section is set. But is it? With our first child we carefully researched and wrote our plan for a natural birth and despite everything we put in place ended up with an emergency caesarean section. Since then I've known I would have to have another c-section as they cut wider than usual to get my son out from his stuck position.

It's been tough to come to terms with missing out on the chance to give birth as nature intended and knowing that our plan may not eventuate due to the doctors on the day doesn't help. When I mention I'm having a planned caesarean I imagine some people thinking that I'm taking the easy option, but when you don't get an option there's nothing easy about it.


Dear precious one,

How I wish you could enter this world and what will actually happen are quite different.

I wish you could choose when you are ready to meet us.

I wish the fluid would be squeezed from your lungs to help you breathe.

I wish the beneficial bacteria from the birth canal could be transferred to you in the usual way*.

I wish that I could be the first to touch you.

I wish you could be delivered in a warm, dimly lit room to help you slowly adjust to the outside world.

I wish the cord could be left to pulsate while you are still learning to breathe.

I wish you could be placed on my tummy for skin-to-skin cuddles as soon as you are born.

Know that we will be insisting the doctors remove you slowly and gently and give you straight to me for skin-to-skin cuddles. Know that no matter how much we insist, this may not happen. Know that we love you xx


*watch Microbirth to learn about how the gut bacteria and immune systems of babies born by caesarean differ from those born vaginally and how you can 'seed' your baby with the good bacteria.

Don't rush to answer questions

I'm learning so much from reading How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk - all the advice makes so much sense but it doesn't necessarily come naturally!

I haven't finished reading it yet but one of tips 'Don't rush to answer questions' is my current challenge. Do you find yourself answering the same question over and over? That was me. Until I read that if your child is asking a question it means they have already started to think about it and that if we always answer their questions they learn not to trust their own thoughts and judgement.

So in practicing this advice I've been responding to my 3 year olds questions with:

• I don't know
• What do you think?
• What do you see/hear?
• Do you know?

It has been such an eye opener. He answers the questions so quickly and easily and in doing show I can see just how much he understands. And, it puts an end to the same question being repeated over and over. Truly amazing!

It can be frustrating to have my son flip flop from one position to the opposite and back again within seconds. Do these sound familiar? I'm hungry/not hungry, I want a bath/don't want a bath, I want the blanket on/don't want a blanket on. But another way of looking at it is he's not sure of himself and by feeling a need to always have the answer to his questions I have been responsible for that.

So by taking on this challenge and changing the way I interact with my son, hopefully it will go some way to him knowing his true self and being tuned in to his emotions and gut instincts - something that I am still working on myself.

PS - I challenged myself to writing a post in 30 minutes today. No time to second guess, just had to go with it and know that "Good enough is almost always good enough".